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Friday, April 28, 2006

读《寻找无双》

读《寻找无双》心情苦闷,百无聊赖中写篇札记消磨我的浪费的够呛的时间罢


没读过李敖、沈从文等的大作,不好说王小波是中国当代白话文学第一大师。但读过他两本书后不得不感叹:天妒英才!
目前还未看到有评论把王小波划为XX主义,XX风格。虽读书不多,但就我目前所读过书中,《寻找无双》是不像其中任何一本的。首先在语言功底上,表面看上 王小波的文笔在作家中并不能算出众,几乎没有任何华丽的修饰,但又不能说他没那功力。很多时候仅仅几句细节的描写,皆为点睛之笔。读他文章不多,只能举出 个别例子,譬如《黄金时代》中二人在雾霭笼罩的山中,以及在茅草屋里时对周围环境的描写:烟雾中走过的水牛,以及阳光透过草屋顶的空隙照在清扬赤露的胴体 上。又如:
在王仙客的记忆里,彩萍是个长得极像无双的小姑娘,稍不留神就会搞错的。夏天里,无双穿一件土耳其式的短褂子,露着一截肚皮,彩萍也穿同样的短褂子,也露 着半截肚皮。连露出的那半截肚皮都是一样的洁白细腻。她们俩穿一样的土耳其短裤,一样的凉鞋。唯一不同的地方就是无双用一段金链子,拴了一个祖母绿的坠 子,遮住了肚脐眼,但是彩萍的链子是镀金的黄铜,而坠子是一块绿玻璃。祖母绿名符其实,就像祖母死了埋在地下半个月再挖出来那么绿,而绿玻璃就没有这么 绿。这两者的区别就像假眼睛和真眼睛的区别一样明显,价钱也大不一样,但是使女就该和小姐有这样的区别。无
双还告诉王仙客说,这个丫头就值五百钱,还比不上她那匹马哪。

以上是对人的描写,这段对环境的描写同样可以看出起其功力:

王仙客说,他找到她的经过十分离奇。有一天他起早去打兔子,走在一条小巷里,露水打湿了脚下的石板地。那时候他正走在两道篱笆墙中间。在篱笆上爬满了牵牛 花藤,藤上开满紫色的花朵,花朵上落满了蓝蜻蜓。实际上,两堵篱笆墙中间只有仅够两人转肩的距离,而篱笆却有一丈多高;从墙脚到墙顶,喇叭花密密层层,在 每个花蕊上,都有一只蓝蜻蜓,在早上的水汽中展开它透明的翅膀;所以好像开了两层花。王仙客在其中走过时,心脏感到了重压。而在这时候,迎着正在升起的早 霞,有一个早归的妓女穿着紫色的褂子,下摆短极了,露出了洁白无疵的两条腿,脚下穿着紫棠木的木屐,正朝他走来。她的脸遮在斗笠里,完全看不见。这时候王 仙客不禁怦然心动。等到和她擦肩而过的时候,王仙客就侧过脸去,于是看到了一张疲惫失神的脸和一脸的残妆,但是真的有点面熟。在她身上还能闻到一股粗肥皂 的味道。这种肥皂像墨一样的黑,是用下水里的油和草木灰熬成的,里面满是砂子,在市场上卖两文钱一条。王仙客
就用这种肥皂洗衣服,洗澡,还用它洗脸,洗出了一脸皮屑,好像长了桃花癣一样。此段我反复多过几次,之后不禁叹道:此为大师也!王小波的笔下每句话读起来都饱含哲理,且表达简单明了,如这句:

不管是什么事,都该想明白了。假如想错了,忘了就是了。要是不想,有时就会吃大亏。
比方说,忘了一笔帐,就先要想清楚。要是人家欠他,就记着去要,要是自己欠人家,忘了就是了。孙老板认为有三件事是必须避人的:性交,大小便,思想。第一件事不避人,就会被人视为淫荡。第二件事不避人,就会被人看作没
教养。最后这一件不避人,就会被人看作奸诈,引起别人的提防。短短几句话,字字珠玑,道出了做人的哲理。他书中较少使用充满各色形容词的长句子,行文极流 畅。诙谐的文笔让我想到钱钟书的《围城》,但语调又是截然不同的--王小波的话里充满了戏谑的口气。乍看之下似是故意为之,但读久了才发现,此实为他小说 绝妙所在。
王小波另一狡猾之处即是对主题的伪装--整部书都围绕着“寻找无双”这个主题展开,而事实上男主角王仙客出现,以及一切故事发生的原因也是因为王仙客这个 身上折射出不少王小波自身特征的山东汉子去到长安找寻他要迎娶的表妹无双。但小说却不是为此而写,尽管书整篇都在写寻找的目的,过程,讨论寻找的意义,等 等。每章开头都用同样的一句话:“王仙客来到宣阳坊,寻找他的表妹无双。“但小说绝非一篇寻人启事贴出后的报告文学那样简单。小说写了寻找,却不是为写寻 找而写。虽然都以同一句话开头以说明之间的联系,但以我看每章都可以当作独立的一部作品来读,并拥有一个共同的主题: 寻找无双。

不。实际是:人生的意义,与其中令人无奈的荒谬。这个潜在的主题在这句话中被提起:我表哥对我说,每个人一辈子必有一件事是他一生的主题。比方说王仙客 罢,他一生的主题就是寻找无双,因为他活着时在寻找无双,到死时还要说:现在我才知道,原来我是为寻找无双而生的。我在乡下时赶上了学大寨,听老乡说过: 咱们活着就是为了受这份罪。我替他们想了想,觉得也算符合事实。我们院有位老先生,老在公共厕所被人逮住。他告诉我说,他活着就是为了搞同性恋。这些话的 意思就是说,当他们没出世时,就注定了要找无双,受罪,当同性恋者。但是事情并不是那么绝对。王仙客找不到
无双时,就会去调查鱼玄机。老乡们受完了罪,也回到热炕头上搂搂老婆。我们院里的老先生也结了婚,有两个孩子。这说明除了主题,还有副题。后来我问我表哥,什么是他一生的主题,什么是他的副题。他告诉我说:主题是考不上大学。他生出来就是为了考不上大学。没有副题。

而实际上不止这句,文章中大部分的要表达的思想与哲理都通过”表哥”的形式叙述出来。王小波引用自己的经历与他人的对话中。对于以上所表达的主题,清楚地解释了王仙客寻找无双,以及书中所有人荒谬或正常的行为的目的,目的就是:没有目的。

不知这种哲学是否可以看做存在主义
若说文章真正的风格,我倒更愿意将它称为一部“以现代主义的手法创作的古典主义小说。“的确,故事背景是盛世过后开始衰落的大唐,但语言与描写完全是用 20世纪90年代的思维。例如其中不断提到各种机制,完全是当前社会的映射。故事也完全不受历史约束,书中不断出现诸如:王仙客被无双的父母骂为武大郎 之类的话。不仅如此,王小波自己甚至也加入到了故事中:

他的记忆好有一比,就像我过生日那天小孙给我下的那碗长寿面。那碗面里断头很多,
虽然吃起来是面的味道,看上去却像炒蒜苗。还有个比方,他的记忆很像十月革命节时让我们去看的那些黑白电影;一会儿黑得像是进了地狱,一会儿白得好像炸了 原子弹。想要从他嘴里掏出点有用的消息,简直比登天还难。虽然我对王仙客那185的IQ不大服气,想在各个方面都和他比一比,但是我一点也不想经受他受的 这个考验。文化革命前,我们中学生去清洁队里劳动锻练,学习掏茅坑,师傅
教过我干、稀、深、浅各种情况下使用长把勺子的不同手法,我都记住了。我师傅还夸奖我说,你简直天生一块掏大粪的材料嘛!虽然如此,对罗老板这个茅坑,我还是没有把握。

为了体现”荒谬“这个主题,王小波穿插了大量各色的人物在书中,并对他们每人的背景与行为着以笔墨。人物不仅有故事本身的,如鱼玄机,坊中的居民等等,也 有作者自己认识的,如研究西夏文的老头和与他通奸的大妈。对其中有些人物的描写,如鱼玄机,甚至超过了对主角王仙客和无双本身的描写。
其中鱼玄机的故事甚至在几章中成为了小说的主题。而这一切恰恰是为了诠释”荒谬“ 很多乍看之下令人费解的情节:王仙客对鱼玄机的痴迷,满屋顶的兔子,坊中众人以及王仙客的失忆,彩屏的彩萍。。。随着情节的发展,这些荒谬的事总能适时地变得顺理成章。

除去人物与他们的行为之外,更有很多滑稽的悖论:
有关犯人在临死时骂人的事,牢头禁子和刽子手们讲的都不对。在鱼玄机以后死掉的犯人,固然都是骂“操你妈”,而在她之前死掉的犯人,不仅不骂人,反而都说些认罪伏法的话。所以鱼玄机是开操你妈之先河者。这句话现在在监狱里成了上刑场的代名词。死刑犯们互相这样说:
什么时候操你妈?
下礼拜罢。
或者说:明天我就操你妈!

比方说,咱们中国人里的朱子老前辈。他老人家格物致知,趴到井口往下看,看到了黑糊糊的一团。黑糊糊的一团里又有白森森的一小团。他就说,阴中有阳,此太 极之象也。其实白森森的一团是井口的影子。只要再把脖子伸长一点,就能看见白森森的一团里,又有黑糊糊的一小团。那可不是阳中又有阴了,而是您自家的头。 头是六阳会首,说成阴是不对的。就这么稀里糊涂,怎能画出光路图。

读着读着就发现,原来一直勾起我好奇心,驱使我读下去的“无双的下落”这个问题已不再重要。他只是王小波用来吸引大家听他大放谬论的工具罢了。到最后无双的下落突然就明了了,而那时我也早就失去了知道她下落的兴趣。
所以说,最真实的,还是荒谬本身。

posted by Cassiopeium at 11:24 pm  

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

无题

男子倒在铁道旁的那一刻正是大雨滂沱的时候. 远处开来去往克拉玛依的特快,内燃机头的两盏橘色大灯犀利地穿透雨幕,好像中世纪骑士端起的长矛.

车头鸣响了汽笛,雨水打在大地之上,发出的声响与笛声交错,仿佛在奏一曲交响乐.

男人倒下后地下飞出两只白鸽子,一只叫伤,一只叫望.伤与望吃力地在雨中拍打翅膀,沿着铁轨双双飞向东方.它们在找寻着什么,无人知晓.

伤与望飞走后理想开始朝相反的方向逃跑—他疯了,他开始惧怕自己身处的世界,自己周围的一切.爱情留在原地, 木然地注视着躺在泥水里的男人. 男人脸上没有表情,他的左手紧紧攥着一个十字架.

火车驶过来了,爱情看到男人的脸被车头灯照亮,他手中的十字架也反射出一束光芒.爱情看到火车无情地撕碎一线线的雨水,但远处的人们看到的却是雨水紧密怀抱着橄榄绿的车厢.爱情看到火车飞快地从面前驶过,忽视她的存在,并将雨水甩在她年轻迷人的脸颊上.

理想回头发现有东西追来,他边跑边哭着,大声地呼喊求助,但没有人听到他的呼救,因为火车的笛声盖过了世界内的一切,而脸上的泪水在外人看来只是雨水.

理想不跑了,他突然收起脚步,在原地抬起头对着天空声嘶力竭地叫喊起来.

爱情凝视着远处的理想,仅能看到他模糊的身影被雨水切割成为无数条.她脸上也盖满了蓝色的液体,不知是泪水抑或雨水.

两只鸽子飞累了却无处息身,它们掉在铁轨枕木上,化作大地乳白的汁液,流躺着遍布了铁道旁的每一寸土地.那样的地里开出黑色的花朵,在月圆之时凋谢.

理想跳进了飞驰的车轮.

爱情觉得她脸上划下的液体很热,于是她也倒下了,倒在男人怀中,安祥地死了.

很久之后毒烈的太阳开始拷化路上的沥青,男人颤抖着身躯,用左臂撑扶着自己坐起.他看到爱情从自己怀中滑落到铁道旁的石子堆上. 男人抬起头乜斜着眼,久久地注视着烈日,直到他感觉到晕眩,而世界却无比真实的时候.他转过了头,看到铁道两旁盛开的黑色鲜花.

男人抱起了身旁的爱情,沿着铁轨开始流浪. 傍晚大雨可能再次降下,而那时人们将会看到的,是暴雨中男人与爱情组成的十字架,身旁是无限平行延伸的铁轨,永远不会迷失.

posted by Cassiopeium at 12:08 am  

Sunday, April 23, 2006

读书啊读书–其实我想说的是我的眼镜.

边看着<寻找无双>边听某Random钢琴专辑.
我看书的习惯有点像那某地的独特气候,也可以说像周期性发作的癫疯.
也就是说,当年那阵打着卡通型的台灯在被窝里看书的日子早就过去了.
现在看书这个词对我来讲比较陌生了.除去考试前几小时挑灯夜读那种之外,
偶尔兴趣驱使去读书的时间,逐渐减少. 不过一旦读起来了,就好像老子就跟你干上了,一定大战三百回合读个过瘾不可. 过瘾后忘掉,一忘就是好久,忘得好像从来没有那回事似的.
遇到好书时会瞪大眼伸长脖子从扉页读到末页—-之所以不能捧起来坐在某角落安静阅读,只因为自己太穷买不起书,也舍不得买.还多亏了网络,多亏了百度和雇狗. 当然,打着小台灯都没把眼睛看坏,那年夏天捧着我的笔记本看完了马荣成的<风云>,却彻底把眼睛看坏,这也多亏了电脑,多亏了网络..
就好像我看看<寻找无双>一样.我发现此书语调单一,当然这是一本小说应有的.但我看到后来就兴趣索然,却不觉读其如嚼腊.王小波的文笔读上一阵就如同反复在读一句话,可情节却在发展,书中哲理也渐露端倪. 怪哉.
我也实在没有想到一题就作一文的能力与耐心,暂且说说我读书的过程.正如我诸多做为一样,实在是荒谬之至,到目前为止整个过程好像本来正轰轰烈烈走在工业革命资本主义发展路线上的国家突然来了一场共产主义革命,一切停滞不前. 回退程度甚至堪比满清执政后的中国科技.
我身边的大部分哥们还在穿开裆裤看图识字的时候我就在学习成语了;他们读注音读物的时候我已经读起西游记了;他们读<安徒生童话>,我读得是<聊斋志异>;等他们热烈讨论<三国>时我早都把<东周列国志>读了不下一遍了. 可到后来电脑这个怪物出现了.我上网的时候那落后的城市个人上网用户不到100户,我同学才知道互联网这个东西时候我已经问他们要邮箱给他们发电子贺卡了—当然他们根本没收到过. 可电脑也就是症结所在–我玩上游戏了.那时候没有CS没有网游,是人人都看着<仙剑奇侠传>结尾动画对着屏幕清泪两行的年代.我就玩上了,并从此一发不可收拾.
后来有人跟我谈论托尔斯泰,谈论契诃夫,我一无所知.伴随着人家一脸遇到盲流的表情,我知道我也该把家里书架上落了灰的<高老头>和<战争与和平>拿出来翻翻了. 可悲剧再次发生啦,我在翻书架里层那排满是灰尘的书时发现了贾平凹的<废都>,也或是莫言的<丰乳肥臀>,具体哪本我记不清了,总之都是那些8,90年代的作家,出名或无名的,作品发表在厚厚的月刊,双月刊上,就是那种用来当手纸能对付一年的文学杂志,主题都基本是文革或文革后中国人荒谬悲哀的生活,其中包括大量对人原始欲望的描写. 那时候我也特喜欢看<故事会>一类的.在这里要感谢我的二姨,她连故事会创刊那年代的旧杂志都有. 于是,故事会加一堆乱七八糟的<世界大案奇案全集>等等,就是我那时期的主要读物,那时我大概小学毕业吧. 当然,那时比较著名的,比如<上海宝贝>一类,也都读过.
初中比较短暂,没什么太多记忆,因为语文老师不错,也和自己对路,中文那一年成为唯一一门水平突飞猛进的学科.那时初现堕落与反驳的雏形,但被”来美”给扼杀了.
在美国读过不少的书,尤其是几个暑假里,但95%都是所谓的网络文学,校园文学,青春文学等等.
没办法,那种东西读起来就是有共鸣,就是比<幽谷百合>和<叶卡捷琳娜>读起来上瘾. 直接后果是给我灌输了一堆80后无病呻吟没事装B乱叫唤的消极人生观.
现在呢,除了睡觉就是梦想自己写本传世之作,到时一边读一边孤芳自赏,哈哈.
做梦时写书,梦醒了也写.
其实在做梦还是不在做梦,这个问题比较深奥.
———
说到这里我脱缰的跳跃性思维总算是回来了. 我本想说我的眼镜的,但是由次联想到自己的视力,又不可避免地联想到读书,自己的教育成长,等等.
也就是三句不离人生啊前途啊,万变不离其宗.
眼镜待着绝对有型,那可是100多美元的变色镜片. 但说丢了就丢了,丢完以后我倒没什么感觉,还没待出感情呢.也正因为没把它当成一个习惯所以丢了.起初也不是特心痛,但具体的想想我买本小说才10块钱,100多美元能买米兰昆德拉全集了,立即心痛不已.
其实丢的也比较莫名其妙,若说是钱包被人顺手牵羊,是完全有情可缘的遭遇.但眼镜这种东西居然在”短短”半小时内在相对”安全”的地方不翼而飞,着实让我愤怒了一把.
当时我只是在穿我的短裤,腿疼,同时想着自己没做完的家庭作业,以及怎样翘掉体育课出去写完它.眼镜被我摘下放在架子上–这也是偶然的,通常我在体育课之后才会戴起眼镜. 可就是那样一个偶然的改变,又不知为何我转过了身,或许是穿鞋吧.就这样,蹊跷地把眼镜忘在了架子上.
我因此结论,看似规律的循环中总是会发生改变,也就是这些看似微妙的改变影响了我的生活.
所以我把丢失眼镜归咎于命运使然—这样的巧合完全是无可避免的.
这样一想我就彻底不内疚了.
等我写完作业后想起,眼镜早已被某老墨或老黑或老白老中高兴地拿跑了.
前两天偶然走进更衣室,突然发现几周没注意的寻物启事上留下一个电话号码.打过几次却都说是空号.
原来有人无聊而已.眼镜已经丢了
——————————
Existentialism..若我认为我知道事实真相的一切并努力尝试改变但却始终无动于衷,作合解释?
–>>1.我并不了解事实的真相我所见只是表面的皮毛.  2.存在主义.  但我不是,因我不能对自己下定义—我是存在主义者.
英文老师讲到开缪(Camus)其人,说是有人问他自己写出L’etranger这样一部存在主义(Existentialism)的代表作,那么他对存在主义到底报何看法? 怎知开缪矢口否认自己是存在主义者.当然他必须要否认,因存在主义拒绝给任何事物给予定义.
posted by Cassiopeium at 8:53 pm  

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

亚城不在

Abdude^2同志上周末重飞痞子堡,跟卡内鸡的有关人事谈判磋商后成功取得每年$34000 助学金 + $9000 贷款.
“它日宾州再得一见,兄台保重.”
———————————–
亚城不在
亚城灰暗天空下煜熠的花火映照我无边的寂寞。
——题记
记住这一刻!它转瞬即逝,永不再回来。
多年后当你再次想起,早已物是人非,只剩泪流满面。
在离开亚城前的最后几个日子里,突然莫名地悲伤起来。
朦胧中眼前还是A那个舞动的身影,大声地对我喊道
走吧,再也不要想起。
黑哥走上来,拍着我的肩膀,颇为悲怆地叹道,
此一别,唯他日宾州再得见,兄台多保重。
然后转身,并入夜色中。
也许他并没说过那些话,甚至不曾来到我的身边。
他开着那辆空旷的大车,冲入暴雨下的高速路,消失不见。
那日走的很急,随着熙攘的人群推挤着走出校门,
最后一次回头看到了门前的那段长廊,
多少次径自靠坐在那里,看雨打松针,水幕模糊周围的世界。
也看到那所小学校的篮球场内,A一手捉着篮球,踩着一地枯叶,缓步向我走来,
我面对夕阳,无法看清他脸上的表情。
他把篮球狠狠地抛向锈迹斑斑的篮架,周围林中飞鸟惊起,接着一切继续它们的静谧
仿佛不曾有人来过
A向我大叫
你为什么活着!?
Tiffany站在河岸边,齐肩的发随穿越河谷的风四处飘曳。
她笑靥如花,
2003,往事不再,曲终人散。
我看着镜中的自己,除表情颓然外,脸上没有泪痕。
楼下车已启动。
他们都不存在。
走的时候忘了很多早已心中演练多次的事,就好像日日夜夜都在脑中写过的故事。
到后来,
记忆终也像水中散开的鲜血一样,初时醒目,渐渐稀释在时间的水流中。
我仍麻木呆立在原地,除泪水外没有失去任何东西/
也失去了全世界
posted by Cassiopeium at 11:07 pm  

Sunday, April 9, 2006

Protected: 无题

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posted by Cassiopeium at 4:55 pm  

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