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Cassiopeium

Nous sommes condamnés à être libre

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Le Chateau De Ma Mère

Years ago in a dark night, when I was alone at home, I turned on the TV. The gleaming lights the screen radiates off colored my face, changing constantly. Soon I was watching a French film. Its name was Mother’s Castle.

I’d missed the first part of it, but the story seemed enchanting. I was mesmorized by the scence in the film–the warm and cozy days in the hills reminded me of the impressionist paintings I’d seen in books.

There was a family, the father was a school teacher who earned livings for her wife and the three kid. Marcel, a clever school boy who loved the hills of Etoile, where he ‘d encountered his beloved Isabell, daughter of a drunkard poet who made lame rhymes off every line he’d said. Every weekend they picked up their belongings and walked 9 kilometres to their small house up in the hills. It was a long and tiring walk under the harsh sunlight of August.

The father met his former student, a spike who inspected the canals that flowed across the estates of those nobelmen. With ardor he offered the father a key to open all the doors so they can pass thru the estates and cut the walk to within minutes.

So every week the family sneaked across the estates whose edifices stood reticent as they passed by. Marcel was forgetting his exam, only thinking of the dear summer days he spent on the hills, with family, with Isabell.

But when they got to the last magic door one day, they found it locked. In no time a lame old man with an even older dog appeared, the father tried to explain, but the man appeared infuriate. With the King’s Roses she received as a gift at her hand, the mother faints.

And the story went on, but not as happy as before. The family still chatted and laughed together, but the good days at hill was soon to be over.

Five years later Marcel and his younger brother Paul held hands firmly together as they followed the tall black wagon that borne their mother away.


“Then little Paul grew tall, he had a silky beard. He never wanted to leave the Etoile Hills, where he kept a herd of goats. He was the last of Virgil’s goatherds… But at 30, death carried him off.. My dear Lili had been waiting for years in the graveyard…under a blanket of flowers…in 1917, in a dark northern forest…a bullet cut short his young life. He fell on some chilly plants..whoes names he did not know…
Such is the life of a man…Moments of joy, obliterated by unforgettable sadness…”

Then another ten years gone by, Marcel bought a mansion and returned with his fellows and assets. As he stared down at the orchard he suddenly discovered something from his long forgotten memory. He ran down along the canal and at the end there was the magic door. He smashed the wooden door using a rock with all his might.

“Yes, it was there, it was the canal of my past. I walked back along the holiday path…and beloved shadows of my past were at my side. In the wall, near the canal…was the black door…the one that refused to open…and humiliated my father. I was breathing more easily, it seemed…and the evil spell had been broken. “

“On the other side of time, for years now, a young, dark-haired woman had been clutching…The King’s Roses to her fragile heart. She heard the guard’s shouts and the dog’s wheezing.
Pallid, trembling. Forever inconsolable. She did not know it was her son’s estate.”

And it was the sunny day in Provence, it was the rainy streets of Marseilles. It was, Le Chateau De Ma Mère.

posted by Cassiopeium at 4:44 pm  

Thursday, December 21, 2006

在读郭敬明

下午从FQ同学家借来了郭敬明的书,<夏至未至>, 莫明其妙出现的译名有点莫明其妙:”Rush to the Dead Summer”

封面是郭与一个男人故作扭捏状,彼此不看对方的脸,看上去好像彼此之间刚刚发生了什么难以启齿的事情. 李安说过,每个男人的心中都有一座断臂山.

于是更下午的时候,有个很可靠地消息告诉我,郭敬明是GAY. 听到这个答案,我脸上露出了满意的笑容.

当然,有人说过,Don’t judge  a book by its cover.

当我接过这本书的时候,同学告诉我,无论如何,丫就是写的好,有想象力.

然后我提醒他郭被告抄袭了,似乎想象力再丰富也不能丰富到和其他人不谋而合. 他接着说,千万别最近几天看,否则你会停不下来,误事儿.

我突然想起来了, 某日,雪扬还跟我说呢,有个人硬塞给她一本<梦里花落知多少>,乍看以为是三毛的书再版了.

过几天又追着问她看完哭了没有.

她说,姐姐,你跟我开玩笑吧.

人就是这么得罪的.

后来我们都知道了,原来是庄羽的书再版了,郭代笔润色了一下,且迷死小女生不知数.

3年级吧,3年级的时候我看了第一,二届<新概念文选>,那叫震撼啊,原来作文还可以这么写,早恋都敢写,不怕请家长吗.

那套书未读完,因为大部分文章我都读不懂他们在表达什么.唯一留下记忆的只有几篇. 韩寒的三篇自是不用说,有种鹤立鸡群的感觉.

还有篇讲早恋的,<流星暴雨飞过天空>之类的.

后来明白了,其实也就那几篇真不是不知所云,早恋那篇,有点Lolita风格,我也记住了. 看来名著就名在前无古人,后有来者.

现在我桌上还摆着第N届新概念的文选.很多人玩文字比我熟.没办法,我初中未结业水平. 但看思想,不便多说…
其实有些人,有些地方,当你第一次看到的时候,你会觉得,在多年之前,你就来过这里,见过这个人.

心理学上这叫Deja Vu.

有些书,有些文字,当你读罢第一段时,你就觉得这种文字似曾相识,你曾经读过.

这是因为,作者太没创意了.丫翻来覆去就是那些破事儿: 天很Blue或很阴,我很Blue或很淫, YY的我抬头看看YY的天空,角度是xxx度.

那个男孩很帅,家里很有钱,他着装标新立异,看人的眼神让人觉得这孩子幼年没受过足够关爱. 还有,他眼睛很混浊,不知道是否该去看医生.

那个女生很漂亮但是大家都不知道,她骨子里很BT但是表面上看不出来,她其实有着不为人知的过去,她注定要和不正眼看人的男孩发生暧昧.
街上的树啊花啊都很美很符合我此时的心情,以此抒情若干字. 最后有人死了,有人蒸发了,一切结束. 还有更多的诸如此类的故事,等待着.

P.S. 放照片就算了,但你找来的那几个女的真的不好看.

唉,怎么办,审美疲劳加恐龙过敏.

posted by Cassiopeium at 3:18 am  

Thursday, December 7, 2006

创作随笔 [12.7]

最近这段时间并没有停止对小说的构思,但思考的重点已从对人物、场景的构思转移到对情节发展的把握、对人物关系的安排、事件之间错综复杂的联系穿插等等。

很显然,我对人物的构画正在趋于完善,主要情节似乎也早已拟定,无需更多太大的修改。有点可笑的是我属于一个懒惰的完美主义者,虽然这本书用流水帐的方式同样可以完成,并成为一个不错的故事(我对自己说故事的能力颇有信心),但很多的细节上如果不花费大量心血去构思、描写,我甚至不敢将其称为一部“文学作品”。 花在构思上的时间显然远远超过了真正创作的时间,有些本末倒置。

想起小学时学过的课文里讲到颐和园长廊的横梁彩绘包含了各种名著经典、民间传奇,共一万七千多幅,在长廊本身作为连贯全园各处山水楼阁的血脉同时,这些横梁彩绘可以说是广阔的颐和园中最为复杂、精美的构成,若没有这些彩绘,长廊便失去了它本身的艺术价值,而整个园林亦会随之失色。

做到对于各种细节的描写,最主要的是需有对生活敏锐的洞察力,将很多绝大多数人看起来都平淡无奇的事物使用简洁但有力的语言加以描写。简洁有力的语言远比华丽空洞的词藻更有威力,越是读名家的作品越可看出这点,短短几句话,几个词,就足以令人震撼到流泪。但这样的语言要求极高的文字驾驭能力与天赋来创造,非一朝一夕可达成。每到这时就明显地感到自己对文学所知甚浅,读书太少,语言上技巧匮乏。果然是“书到用时方恨少”。

要时刻注意人物本身的特点——书中每个人物的存在,甚至其出现的场合、说过的话都含有有极重要的意义。对于并不善于并不喜欢对场景加以大量细节描写的我来讲,通过人物的对话以及对人物本身的描写成为了表达小说思想的主要途径。每个人物的行为有代表意义之外,他们本身在书中的角色也起到象征的作用——Alec象征着优秀的上流人物,却无可避免地过于锋芒毕露。Matt则是很平常的美国中学生,对生活充满各种想法,但整日以反叛的行为来表现自己。等等这些,都基本经过了多次斟酌。

当然,小说是由我写的,人物的命运全部掌握在我手上(创作快感之一?),我可以随时修改自己的构思,比如说按幼稚天下无敌的林雨婷同学要求,加入了Ashlee这个人物(具体事宜暂不透露)。

我一直很想写几篇议论性质的文章,讨论时事,表达自己的一些思想,也只有这样的文章才有希望见报。但这类文章不但需要大量的研究,哪怕是无厘头式的“哲学”也罢,都不能如创作小说般随意而为,需要大量时间精力。更因为自己对社会制度和现象的粗浅见解容易招人耻笑,所以还是闭上嘴装深沉,继续搞“纯文学”创作为上。

posted by Cassiopeium at 4:52 am  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

寄夜

继续近乎失语的语无伦次式“意识流”写作

警告:凡读后大叫莫明其妙者,慎读。

=====================

寄夜
——读《诗》

[一]

生活若非如这屋子一般
凌乱不堪
是否还有深夜眷慕之事
轻扣心扉
而此刻此时
身旁仍有记录记录要生活的生活
及不曾所遇的
更好似梦想
于指尖飞翔

可见彼岸西子畔
流水伊人,独步雪中
莫言悲伤
她呢喃轻吟
“泛彼柏舟,亦泛其流”
“我心甚悲,不敢以告人……”

若不是你眼睛如那潭湖水般混浊——
俟于河之洲
采薇赠之
其靥似琼
执子之祛
悲曰
三日不见,若三月兮
众人齐呼
“三日不见,若甲子兮!”

是夜,她的悲伤
既脱变的记忆
终是幻化无常
明夜或许就此一去不返
乔木扶苏,蒹葭苍苍
又思故人,伤之如何!

温柔等于
呼吸的温度,
唇的湿度
眼的迷离加
发稍与心的脆弱
青丝缕缕,绸缪我心
寤寐不能,辗转于枕
思伊人
在水一方
我心知之,遥不可及
不知我者,谓我何求。

[二]

但,深夜为最好之麻醉剂
短暂失去回忆的能力
梦醒之间
不见华都,怅惘难耐乎?
“哈哈哈!”贻笑众人

“哈哈哈!”你妄自大笑
镜头切换至扯线木偶于舞台上起跳
背景音乐是西方非古典的经典舞曲
门票上印着喜剧的悲剧
布偶或木偶都不曾在颟顸步履中羁绊
空无一人的剧院有一位观众
轻轻询问木偶
若没有酒精的稀释
生命岂非早已黯淡不堪

“哈哈哈!”木偶大笑
何须缥缈
布偶她悄悄地妩媚地告诉你
她不在那里,在这里
此刻是明天,不是昨天
今天是骗人的把戏
请你拿着这张皱褶的戏票
去第十年九月的星期三寻找。

“嗟乎!甚妙!”
我姑酌彼兕觥,
维以不永伤。

posted by Cassiopeium at 2:20 am  

Friday, December 1, 2006

舒梅切尔与女孩的故事

习作一篇,本是为了尝试性地进行Symbolism,象征手法的运用
故事似乎不尽真实。
其实故事中的人,总是生活在我们在身边的
————————————————–
舒梅切尔与女孩的故事

[一]

四年级的时候,我学会了上网
那时的网络是33.6K的小猫,全市不到100家网络用户
每次听到小猫“滋滋”地叫响,然后上线,慢慢地爬着。
刚上网的我面对空白的主页,显得一无所措。

但很快我发现了聊天室,在当时很时髦的一个名词。
我用雅虎搜索到了一个名字很酷的聊天室
在登陆窗口,我决定给自己起个同样很酷的网名
我给自己起名叫“小Cool狗”
看着聊天室粉红色的窗口一点一点打开,我发现这里人不少。
在名单最上的一栏里,有个很醒目的名字,叫舒梅切尔。
那个名字是鲜红色的,所以在一堆杂乱的文字中格外显眼。
屏幕上显示:舒梅切尔给XX女孩献上一支玫瑰
女孩的名字我忘了,但我记得她回给舒梅切尔一个甜甜的微笑
;)

“hi!”我对舒梅切尔说
“你好,欢迎来到这里!”舒梅切尔打出的字是深蓝色的。

舒梅切尔总是喜欢沉默不语,看着聊天室里人来人往。
女孩总是静静地陪在他身旁-她的名字永远是舒梅切尔下边第一个。
过了很久,聊天室里的人走光了,舒梅切尔开始在屏幕上和女孩说话。
我明白了,原来他们一直在私聊。

我们三人聊了起来,我打字太慢。
他们一言不发地看着我打字。然后在5秒之内回复给我。

女孩说她要去任贤齐的演唱会,离开了。

舒梅切尔用私聊坏坏地告诉我:
“她可是个大美女哦 =}”

我告诉他我是小学生

“小Cool狗,你知不知道什么叫做人小鬼大?!”

于是,从此后,我单调的生活里多出一件事:每天下午四点回家后准时打开电脑,
听罢小猫奏响的音乐,进入粉红色的聊天室。

我不会收藏网页,所以每次都要用雅虎来搜索,一页一页地找,有时花去一个多小时。

很快我知道了,舒梅切尔是聊天室的管理员,可以把看着不爽的人踢出去。
女孩是曾经的管理,但现在不在做管理了,只是每日静静地守在这里。
这个关系很复杂,使我有些迷惑。
我发现舒梅切尔打字总是很慢,因为他在和女孩说悄悄话。
女孩则从来不在屏幕上打字。
所以,大家都忽略了女孩的存在,所有人都兴致高昂地聊得不亦乐乎,内容却不外乎一些没有实际意义的寒暄。

有一天女孩悄悄地告诉我说,她那里在下暴雨。
然后又问我,舒梅切尔哥哥是不是很好。
我说是啊
她说舒梅切尔是大学校队的守门员

我问她说,你和他是同学吗?
女孩没有回答。

舒梅切悄悄地告诉我,姐姐是新加坡人
住在可以望海的五层公寓顶楼,窗前摆有很多四季都开红花的盆栽
我想,那些花儿恣意地绽放在女孩的窗前
一定像舒梅切尔聊天室内的名字那样醒目

后来我学会了在深夜的黑暗里打字,且速度飞快

一天夜里,女孩不在,但舒梅切尔打字的速度却比往常还要慢
原来他踢球时扭伤了手腕
他说女孩在生他的气
我不明白
究竟是在女孩生气后他伤到了手腕
还是他扭伤手腕使女孩生了气
抑或两者并没有任何联系
他们仅为了别的琐事而生对方的气

我说你应该去向她道歉
他说她不来聊天室
去她家楼下,喊她
一阵沉默后,舒梅切尔离开了聊天室

我躺在床上,开始幻想
舒梅切尔一定买好了一束鲜花,
用没有打上石膏的那只手抱着,缓缓走到女孩的楼下
这时会突然下起暴雨,因为新加坡是个多雨的城市
那是个多雨的季节
所以舒梅切尔的喊声就被雨声所掩盖了
但女孩还是跑下楼来
因为他手中的花,在雨中格外醒目。

三周后,
舒梅切尔对我说
小Cool狗,聊天室交给你了
我说我根本不会管理
他说你不会可以学,就交给你了
那你做什么
他悄悄地对我说
我办了休学,我要去新加坡找女孩

我本想说你不会踢球把大脑也伤到了吧
但我说的却是,
原来你们不在一座城市。

[二]

于是舒梅切尔走了
他跨着自己用来装球衣的运动包,飞过海峡
在日落前来到星岛的黄昏
他独自踱步在无人的海岸,时而驻足,看远处高耸的楼宇
在晚霞中反射出熠熠的光辉
晚时的海风吹乱了舒梅切尔的头发
他低下头,注视着一张满是皱褶的纸条
不知是第几次认真地读了一遍纸条上的地址
然后就加快脚步,踏入夜色中,仿佛从未出现过。
不夜的星岛人来人往,没人注意到一个手腕打了绷带的男孩。

女孩在睡醒后一如既往地来到窗前,推开窗
用红色的小喷壶浇灌一排争艳的红色花朵
她喜欢用双手支着脑呆,在星岛浅蓝色清晨里
观望融为一物的天空与大海
晨风许许吹动她的发稍与红色花瓣
女孩发现窗外的衣架上挂着一个很大的盒子,在风中轻轻摇曳
女孩好奇地将其取下,并花很大力气打开了它
盒子里有一束被冻起的玫瑰
女孩不禁皱起眉头
又发现冰雕般的花瓣中有张纸条
展开它,是一行笔迹似曾相识的字:
请点燃它
女孩犹豫片刻,跑去找出了火柴
小心翼翼地划燃一支
丢入那束玫瑰中
瞬间玫瑰开始燃烧成一团火球
香水的气味扑鼻而来
鲜红的花朵在火中骤然开放
透过燃烧的玫瑰

女孩褐色的瞳孔中映射出这无比灿烂的刹那芳华

以及楼下的身影

正在静静地注视她…

【完】

posted by Cassiopeium at 1:10 am  

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