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Cassiopeium

Nous sommes condamnés à être libre

Monday, March 31, 2008

荒谬的胜利

荒谬的胜利

“诸神处罚西西弗不停地把一块巨石推上山顶,而石头由于自身的重量又滚下山去,诸神认为再也没有比进行这种无效无望的劳动更为严厉的惩罚了。”

石头,石头!一切都是这块摆在我们面前的石头!
即使西西弗面对如此的艰难产生犹豫,懦弱使他驻足不前,但0.00001秒后….0.00002秒后
他低下头,义无反顾地将自己的肩膀投向了沾满泥土的巨石。

“幸福与荒谬是同一大地的两个产儿。”如果选择逃避荒谬(或通过更多荒谬来逃避荒谬的可能)而失去了幸福,那么回归荒谬而重得幸福是唯一的选择。

不推石头的人,自以为选择了不参与在这荒谬之中。
但,是否真的逃离了荒谬本身?
不!存在的荒谬,其终结只有死亡,而逃避与等待只迎得另一轮更庞大的荒谬汹涌降临。

“西西弗于是看到巨石在几秒钟内又向着下面的世界滚下,而他则必须把这巨石重新推向山顶。他于是又向山下走去。”

站在山顶的西西弗,山间吹来的冷风拂面,他想起了什么?人间阳光的明媚,爱情的甜美?
她们无不在记忆中成为永恒轮回的真实,成为他精神所依赖的…信念?

还是:他的信念毫不存在?行为本身即解释了信念?

我想到了《钢琴家》中那位从废墟中缓缓爬出的琴师,面对漫无边际的毁灭与死亡,灵魂因此而得到洗涤!所有攀附寄生于生命之上的怪物般的多余皆被摆脱。那是一种足以将人类彻底击垮的荒谬,是人类自己赋予生活的荒谬!

可当我再读<西西弗的神话>时,我甚至不能说自己是幸福的。
因我不曾推石头,不曾拥有那“意识的瞬间”
——那是什么可恶的、卑劣的、令人发指的东西啊!是人最为渺小可悲的生存本质所发出的哀鸣!

可,若不能改变甚至最细微的细节,那荒谬则会统治生活的一切。

或许日后我会写下一篇<吴刚的神话>
月桂树所投下的广浩阴影下,挥动巨斧的男人
在他直起腰,看到粗壮树干上,方才被他砍下的浅黄色伤口逐渐愈合。

嘴角露出一丝微笑??

没有什么可忏悔的,因忏悔的过程也是罪恶。

posted by Cassiopeium at 1:20 am  

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

湿三首

刚才写下三首诗
可能明天会将它们改的面目全非,甚至删掉

我不懂中文的现代诗,或许永远不会悟出其中真谛,但我在尝试

我的诗比小说写的好吗?

但不,小说是血,是肉,是灵魂的投影!无法割舍

--------------
幻觉

我丧失了感官与记忆,
会否失去你?

梦想遭受冻结;
生活面对苦难

而你,你无视他
华美的难堪的讥笑或
泪湿的幸福的沉默
唯记忆本身的遗落
得使她们解脱

关于那化归尘土的容颜;
你,透过冰冷的肌肤,
可曾触到昨天
阳光下的温暖

静静听我说
我并不爱你;
只爱你的美丽

我丧失了感官与记忆,
我的祷告可否仍被聆听?

只怕在末尾听
对自己的叮咛

但你活着,
亲爱的
这是真的

—————-
故乡

在呼吸的黄土下发芽
萌生出暗红色
烟囱比树木还多

混浊河水中翻滚
朦胧的欲望及
深夜传说时的野火;
山间明灭的眼睛

她们躺在铺满卵石的
河滩上浑水
与爱情故事的侵蚀
有个男孩跑迷了路
一步步踏过
忘记多少生命
也曾在河中迷失

她撒下
黄土
豆子
于是很快乐


老了
死了
他们更幸福

我渴望加入 他们
但毕竟
我在水里
他们在岸上
喊道

看,那座消失的城墙内
砌满了金子!

-----------

出国

那些人想呼吸
脑袋钻过了筛网
脸上又捂着保鲜膜

posted by Cassiopeium at 9:06 pm  

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